hey look
it really isn't my fault that i'm kinda the way i am right now right?
i mean i dont want to be like this
but everytime i try to change
sth just triggers my inner character off and i just explode
my fault?

yea yea its all my fault

you just never realised how come i turned out like this do you?
i just hate it when you put me down ro when you get defensive cause it really hurts
i know i dont say it nor do i even show i sign of it
but it does

ya i get selfish at times.
even calculative to some extent
but why?
cause somehow something just sets this terrible trait of mine off
and it just explodes within me
i cant control it for that period of time no matter how hard i try

and what do you do?
you just blame whatever happens after that one me.

look i know you're unhappy that i didnt do well for math
yes scold me all you want for that matter
but stop putting me down by saying that i dont make an effort!

know why i never ask you stuff or communicate?
cause i cant be bothered?
why?
cause i realised there's just no point in it if its always going to turn out ugly
after years of trying so hard to try to gain your acceptance
it hasn't worked out has it?

i'm feeling so frustrated
so tired and wronged inside
yet do you know?

have you ever realised how different i am with you and my friends?
i dont talk
not at all
no matter what i'm feeling inside when you're scolding
cause sometimes what i say will only make things worse

everything's just so frustrating now
and i'm so glad that i wont be home for 2 weeks
thank god for that.